A couple years ago I was expecting to gather with a group of Great guy friends for a weekend retreat. Then I was reminded about a NYC trip I volunteered to chaperone with my daughter and a group of teenage girls for choir recital and to see Wicked on Broadway. I asked my wife if she would substitute for me so I could attend the retreat. My wife refused my request. I was very irritated with her lack of cooperation. I also begrudgingly recognized I had made a commitment. So I bagged the retreat and went to NYC. So what came of it ? I was very surprised to really enjoy the trip and the show. Most importantly I was living up to my word and had an unforgettable experience with my daughter. On the bus trip back, I had a tearful moment truly grateful for the change of plans. My daughter most likely will remember the event . I will never forget just how beautiful it was to have had the privilege to be Present and Available. Sometimes a change of plans can end up being Way better than I would ever imagine.
Long time no post for me ! See, I even struggle with attention seeking behavior. Do you know anyone (including yourself) who just has to draw attention to themselves? What nuisance happens to all of us must be announced by the person as if they’re special. How about the people who enter a meeting and interrupt it just to subliminally remind everyone that the Star has entered the room. This can really bother the best or worst of us. Just want to say shut up and sit down or please exit. Especially if you’re really trying to get something accomplished. This can be difficult trying to set boundaries with these folks. Sadly, if you don’t provide them with enough attention, they feel or believe you don’t care. Keep in mind, if possible, there’s a reason for this behavior. They may be hurting on the inside or struggling at home. Or be cold as ice and do you best to ignore and deprive them ! It’s up to you to discern. Get a puppy !
The hard thing about happiness, joy, or contentment is how short lived it is. You know some negative thing, occurrence, or person is going to stick a pin to pop that bubble. Or, another theory, is it at all possible that we just find the happiness a bit boring ? Actually even a lack of laughter, admit it some of the darker negative folks crack you up. Maybe some of just know deep inside the negative is definitely around the corner. Another possibility, is the expectation of happiness supposed to be constant with never a bump in the road ? Does my personal definition of happiness need to be adjusted ? Nah, at least we know unhappiness will always be there. Enjoy the a Day !
So has a family member or a friend crossed your mind lately ? One who you have not spoken with in while ? Even had the dialogue in your head of what you’d speak about ? Well have they reached out to you in a while ? You know the score, you are always the one to reach out to them first, right ? So screw them, don’t call (even though you want to). Let them know who really has the power. Who the hell needs to check in and make sure they’re okay ? Do they ever do it for you ? Why keep the relationship close ? Too much effort. So easy to push it aside.
Reach out and touch someone !
We moved recently. A very huge thank you to all the help that was given to us. The helpers are many: real estate agents, lawyers, mortgage broker, insurance agent, employers flexibility, moving company, utilities, family ( father, brother, sister, inlaws ), and friends (awesome crock of chili). The generosity and teamwork of all those involved helped make it happen as planned. Actually it went pretty smoothe. Why ! Because all the above helped make it happen and cared about the plan. This is the 3rd house we purchased. Funny how different things are as years progress. How 18 years has changed the amount of stuff you accumulate with 2 kids. Also how 18 years changes the body and it ability to do it all. In conclusion, how you appreciate the efforts of all involved and not take it for granted. Teamwork does very much still exist, especially if you can recognize it ! There is no I in team. The team helps me, so me help team !
If only a wise saying could just fix all the problems. Most times when my anxiety is at catastrophe level, the mention of some cliche saying like “take it easy” brings forth the idea of doing harm to the lingo dropper. How about when you are working hard and struggling with time or task at hand, and the leaning pearl of wisdom says “work smarter not harder”. Now what, finish the task or do harm? How about the haters out there picketing against the gay community, why not approach them with “live and let live”, let me know how that works. Try telling someone with faith issues “let go and let God” or someone with depression that they are really just living in the past, imagine how they feel on the inside. My true favorite one I wish I kept at the forefront of my mind ” keep it simple “, however dare you drop that on me when I am complicating things. So here’s what I like: lend some space, lend an ear, or lend a hand. Try to determine which will help the frustrated best.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Enjoy the Day (or don’t)
Don’t you just adore the salesperson who just pushes you to the limit ? The salesperson who ignores your No ! The art of distraction, diversion, steamrolling you for their own agenda ! I am in sales and truly believe I am not like this, why? Well I would not want it done to me. As important as asking for the sale is for the salesperson, I firmly believe the salesperson has to perform their due diligence to ask for the sale. Just rambling off all the features and benefits and dominating the conversation is telling not selling. I have found that asking (non self serving) questions works best. Recently I spoke to cable salesperson over phone, I was barraged with his tactics and conversational bullying. I realized from the start about how I held the power, not him. I am very grateful that not one company I have ever represented, tried to brainwash me into this pushy crap. I might make more money or sales if I tried it, but not at the cost of someone else. I am not an expert at sales, but i have learned along the way about respecting people.
Do you remember Ralph ? You know the guy that comes around with that bug and has you throwing up for a day or 2 ? What amazes me is that when I drank alcohol ( quite unsuccessfully on many fronts, never developed a tolerance either ) I used to puke on a biweekly or monthly basis ! To think I engaged in the insanity to bring this on often. How about the ever fun and body shocking Dry Heaves ? The best description on this: you feel like you are passing your toenails through your entire body ! Even if you do not believe in a higher power the Dry Heaves have you thinking and calling for Him ! Funny how what you ate prior to this event, you may avoid for decades. If only all negative things that we really ought to avoid would bring on this Ever Memorable Hell, we might never forget, therefore avoid the insanity. Well Ralph has not hit me yet, but he broke into my house and has visited a loved one. This is a love that does not need spread ! Enjoy your Breakfast !
How many people have a resume with their faults listed ? How many truly tell an employer their glaring character flaws during the first interview ? How many employers tell the prospect how toxic their management style is ? How many people begin their first date discussing their own part in the failure of their last relationship ? Very few if any would dare to. It’s a lot like advertising, do any of these businesses expose their intent to screw people out of money ? I observe 3 things here: 1- Most people do not plan or intend on their negative behaviors or reactions. 2- Most people who have engaged in negative behaviors may regret it, but most likely and secretly feel justified in doing so. 3- Then there are the downright Evil Bastards / Bitches who are mean spirited and have no regard for any other human. Yet most people really believe they are honest, kind, loving, hard working, and dedicated. Spin the roulette wheel, Baby ! You rarely ever really know what you are truly getting into, nor do they ! Buckle up and try to enjoy the ride !
So why might we be lacking peace and serenity ? It is so easy to point out all the disharmony, chaos, and others people faults around us. Well then if that is true, who could have peace and serenity ? Yet there are many. Is it possible that people are trying vainly to accept the unacceptable ? Or the lack of courage to change what they have the power to. Is it possible the struggle is not the lack of wisdom to know the difference, but the capacity to face the reality and not run from the fear of making necessary changes.
Ok off to work !